On Stage

Ironically, it is difficult to live our ordinary lives, our ordinary daily grind. Even more difficult than the apparently grandiose events or the occasional surges that punctuate our living biographies.

The ordinary, the reticent, the one relegated and closeted behind doors, is difficult not only because it is the longest, largest time spent, which often times drags, and most of the time leaves our efforts within crevices, unnoticed by others - it is difficult because we cannot stand facing ourselves. Once alone, we cannot stand to face our limitations, tragic pains and longings that inhabit our most secret realities. Their overabundance dwarfs the many occasions of joys we had in the past.

Paradoxically, it is difficult when standing on stage we have ourselves as our only audience.

by J.M. Manzano

Sun in the Well by A.V. Rotor

I dug for water
and looked to Heaven.
Clouds I found none
But heard a voice instead
"Deeper."
So I dug and dug.
Without letup,
But with no avail.
This time I looked to Heaven,
to ask, "How much deeper?"
And the voice came again.
"Until you see the sun, my son."
I dug and dug and dug,
And a spring I soon struck,
Reflected the sun above.

All The Same Yet All New

T.S. Eliot puts it well when he said “the end of all journeys will be to return to the place from which you started and know it for the first time.” Four years ago I enrolled in this same class, in the same room and with the same professor who has maintained a vibrant quality as ever. I have to admit I am back partly because of my vow of obedience to my Jesuit superiors. After two weeks I return to where I all began, asking the same questions all over again “Was ist das - - die Philosophie? What is being as Being? What does it mean to say that the table is Tabling? The grass Grassing? The tree Treeing?”
Yet now I think I am back with the same wonderment. I thought I could readily give an answer to those seemingly “archaic” questions any moment now. But I see it was not as simple as I first thought it to be.
One thing I have learned so far is that in my every effort to grasp reality or to comprehend my own smaller realities like my life, my mission, my apostolate, my relationship with others, they escape me. Because of that I know I will never fully know reality.
Four years have passed. I trod a road that accorded me with life-changing experiences and realizations. I was schooled in a novitiate that plunged me into seminars and integration workshops in the effort to know better myself, my God and the religious life that I made a vow to enter. Now I am led back to the questions of Being that are no different from the grass Grassing or the tree Treeing. Surprisingly, what I find in the end are not answers but a continuous astonishment of my own being. Those many years become like a fleet of wing in the face of Being. But in spite of that I know it is more than enough consolation for me to realize that I am flying towards that track or path. I know I will never run out of wind to return to where I all started and know things there for the first time.
(Reflection about doing Philosophy SY 2004-2005)

Walking Life

Life is not just all predictability. So much of the things that come we know so little of. Every step of the way is not all a calculated event, every measure we use will always fall short, lag behind something boundless, something ineffably rich. In every step there is always hesitation, instability and other times outburst. But what remains constant is always the element of surprise, when we feel most alive, most real, and most ourselves.

Be careful of things we know, of every achievment or success that we take upon ourselves. We have the propensity of falling into the trap of forging our own golden fetters.

But do not worry at times we are misunderstood. If things do not go our way, do not worry. If we fall on the wrong path, do not worry. There is just so much to be learned. If things are seemingly moving backward, do not worry. The greatest learnings in life are achieved in the most unconventional way which entails moving back, decreasing one self, failure to understand things, walking the less trodden path-less trodden because it is a difficult and hard way. But this is the way of all things, to go first through trying and cleansing chapters, moments of pain, and of being put in rack. If we choose to go only the easy way then what kind of personal triumphs will we be proud to say.

Silent Dewdrops

The microcosm of life is the dewdrop
Like holding eternity in the palm of hand
So little do I know of that silence it bears
Teeming with unimaginable wonders.